Who am I?

Is that what I mean. Or is it 'what do I want?' I have just read this post about putting things into perspective. I have wondered over the years whether my life is different because I didn't make plans or a road map. I wanted to be a deep sea diver or astronaut when I was at school. I just got a job because it is what you do and of course because of the cash. I studied at college part time over years because i found low level work dull & I figured if I am going to work for half a century then I might as well get paid well. So I qualified as an accountant, worked my way up in the finance team in a social housing environment. Now I am pretty much the boss. If I was ambitious in the conventional sense then I have done very well for myself but it wasn't my plan, just the way it turned out. I just wanted life to be interesting.


When I was about 19 I remember making a decision not to turn down opportunities because i was shy or embarrassed. After a few years it came naturally to me. I actually changed my personality through a decision. I wonder what would have happened if I had made other changes instead.

I suppose my life might actually be considered quite dull for someone who set out to have an interesting time but on the whole it isn't. I still have an interesting job. I once went on holiday, stayed two years and came back with a husband ( I didn't realise he couldn't speak English, I just liked the way he said yes to everything).

I was thinking of spending some time over the next few weeks making a plan for the next couple of decades. The kids will be leaving home soon and life changes again. Looking back wards the path is easy to see but I think I have enjoyed myself without too much of a forward looking plan. Maybe it is time to decide whether to plan instead of what to plan.