Honesty

I have been reading a few blog recently where it has been said that some other blogs are all summer and sunshine and nothing bad ever happens and others where the author is concerned that they have been too honest and have inadvertently exposed themselves to the world.

I think I am pretty honest generally in my blog (but without forcing that honestly on to family members and friends without them signing up for it). But i thought maybe an extra dash of honesty was over due.

I am 48, finance manager, I am generally happy unless made unhappy. To be made unhappy something bad has to happen, like someone dying, otherwise all is good. I have two sons, I almost had a third or maybe a daughter but it didn't quite happen. They would have been 12 now. I was quite ill when I lost the baby and missed three months of work (because of the illness which caused the miscarriage not because of the miscarriage).One of my sons is like me in this way, the other is the complete opposite (like dad). Obviously they are both adorable and I wouldn't change them for the world.

I have been married for 21 years to my husband. We met when I was on holiday in Crete in 1987. Fahed has a heart attack when he was 37 and since then he has suffered from depression and anxiety. I think he probably always had it but the heart attack certainly brought it to the surface. But we can handle it. Eldest son is the same. If there is nothing to worry about then he can worry about the absence of worry.

I am quite frugal with my money and I when I say I am skint then it means I have nothing left in the budget for something, it doesn't necessarily mean I haven't got a bean in the world. We drive quite old but serviceable cards, I don't shop for sport, we shop from car boot sales, charity shops, e bay and even 'real shops'. I give and received with equal enthusiasm on free-cycle.

In some ways we are quite well off financially. We have this house (and a mortgage), the big house in Crete, an old renovation property in Crete, a flat and some land in Syria. But in some ways quite hard up. We live on my salary and all of Faheds earnings go towards development of the properties. So we don't have cash to waste. The properties are our pension. I have a pension as well but pensions are not especially safe even when they are good ones. If all goes well my pension should pay 1/3 of my final salary for life. Just have to make sure I live long enough to appreciate it.

I am very easily bored. I am overweight ( I prefer the word fat)but not fat like the fat people you see on TV. Also not a fat as I was before I discovered I was allergic to bread and pasta, and cake. A lot less headachey and migrainy than before I discovered my allergy too.

I like travel, languages, reading, knowledge, cooking, new experiences, family and friends, Christmas, actually almost everything. It would be easier to say wont I don't like: reality TV (but do like documentaries)soaps, intolerance, prejudice, superiority, offal, weather that stays the same for too long, being bored, not being able to sleep, the unfairness of illness and premature death, the fact that pets don't last as long as we do,coffee cake, the appalling drama queens of the British press, small minds, snakes, litter, white rum, I could go on some maybe not so easy to please after all.

So this is me.