We are your average middle class/lower middle class family. You would expect or kids to go to university but when they were still at school they let me know, quite independently, that it wasn't or them. No problem. I can cope. I hope I am not a parent who must live their lie through their child. Fahed was disappointed that Ahdel didn't want to be a doctor but realised you can't fight these things when we helped out at a road traffic accident before the arrival of the ambulance. Ahdel fainted and whilst we were helping the injured, Jamal was comforting his older brother and trying to bring him around.
So imagine my surprise when last summer when Jamal announced he wanted to join the merchant navy. Great career plus you are sponsored to do your degree. No £40k over hanging your shoulders through life. He might not get in but he has re-taken his Maths qualification to get an A grade (I hope). Most of the employers didn't want to know without that. I don't want him to go. He will be away nine months of the year. pretty much for ever. But of course I want him to get the job. Its what my baby wants to do and is the gateway to his future. Fingers crossed or my baby when the applications start or this years input, next month.
And my oldest son. Now 22. He spent 2 years as a boat builder and was excellent, his boss would have him back tomorrow. The money was amazing but the chemicals were a killer. Then a job as landscaper. He enjoyed this but in winter the staff is cut by half. Next was delivery driver. It was great for a few weeks and then as boring as you can imagine. He helps out on a paintball corse or extra £££. Suddenly this we are talking about Open University Course. To my astonishment he pops up with 'well, actually, I think I need to go away to uni'. What??
Do my ears deceive me. No , apparently they don't. You learn so much more if you are there and working with otherss. Well yes, I would guess that you do. Who'd have thunk it, that is all I can add at this point.
Monday night we maybe discuss it a little more, when it is just the two of us home. Ahdel's lovely girl friend is otherwise here and she loves him so much that I dont think we can take her opinion as she thinks he is wonderful at everything. Looking though the eyes of love. and maybe there is a plan.
I would live with it when i thought they rejected it but i have to say i think it will benefit them in the long run.
They do make me chuckle. They are already making plans. Once Jamals qualifies he get £30,000 a year but he wont be a UK citizen so or low tax (not fiddled). He has always said he has no interest in money and will pay a random amount of my mortgage each year. That would be nice. He might also buy an old house or his brother to do up and sell. We shall see but I am extra pleased with how they talk.
I have always told them that everything will evenly to each of then when we go. I am very happy that when they do loads of work on the house or help with payments to the mortgage, they never say 'well the house be 60% then' or something similar. I might be rubbish at housework ( and indeed I am) but i think it did pretty well with my boys.